Toccata
by Gwaeren
Summary: When a robbery goes awry, Michiru waits by Haruka's bedside, waiting for her love to wake. A ficlet of trips down memory lane mixed with the frustrating events of the present. Mostly AU. HT/MK. Rating mostly for safety rather than actual content. It's probably closer to T, with dips into M.
1. Prelude

Author's Note: AU - They're still Senshi, they still did everything they do in the anime, I'm just writing an alternate 'meeting'. Also: I use the Japanese names, but since this fic is written in English the grammar and everything that goes with it will be in English as well – unless there is an idea that cannot be conveyed at ALL unless I used the Japanese term. What does that mean? No 'san' 'kun' or 'chan' attached to names. Using first names instead of last by total strangers. That sort of thing.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but plot bunnies that need to be fed. Reviews are carrots.

Also: The title of the story is "Toccata" for a reason. The name comes from a style of music, translated to mean 'touch' or 'touched'. The style itself is described as the following: "a rapid keyboard composition for organ, harpsichord, etc., dating from the baroque period, usually in a rhythmically free style". The style of music is intended to show off the player's dexterity. I thought that the name certainly pertains to both women, and their relationship itself, rather well – especially when you consider how much they enjoy simple touches throughout the series, and how much 'touch' is featured between them.

And yes, that last bit means you're going to see a female/female relationship. Don't like? Turn back now.

And on that note: on with the story.

* * *

~*Prelude*~

If anyone knew anything about Michiru Kaioh and Haruka Tenoh at all, one would think that by this point in time they would have gotten used to the idea of sacrificing themselves for a greater good. Michiru considered the idea briefly with a bitter grimace on her face. No, she hadn't at all. Twice they had willingly given themselves up so that perhaps, in their self-sacrifice, victory could be bought for not only Sailor Moon, but for the earth as a whole. The only consolation that had made such an act bearable was that they would die together. Both previous times, they'd had the other with them.

But not this time. And this sacrifice had not been for the world.

It had been for her, and her alone.

Delicate fingers, those of a seasoned musician, reached out to wrap around the limp wrist of the woman she considered her partner in everything. Carefully. Because attached to that wrist were a needle and tube, as well as some wires connected to a small contraption attached to the blond's index finger. "You should know better," she whispered, though Haruka continued to rest quietly. "I told you before – I don't want to live in a world without you in it. So you'd better come back to me, Haruka Tenoh." She said it firmly, despite the near-whispered tone, the insistence behind it masking the fear she felt.

Because Haruka might not come back to her, not after this. There'd been so much damage. So much blood loss. And the doctors had mentioned something about the possibility of an embolism. And goodness knew what else. They'd said Haruka had been lucky – that the wounds hadn't gotten any major organs, no major arteries. That while they could only fine two of the three bullets, the third should be found soon and removed. But Michiru questioned that luck, doubted it as she looked over her lover. Her best friend. Doubted, because fate could still take the woman away from her.

She drew in a shaky breath, leaning down to brush her lips over bruised knuckles. "You remember when we met?" she asked, knowing damned well that there would be no response. "I was in awe of you, even then. Only twelve, and you seemed to know just what you wanted from life, just what you could expect from everyone, and you were set as stone in what you were going to do," she laughed quietly, though the sound was just a little shaky. Her mind had already gone back to those times, the image of a lanky young girl with short blond hair looking far more like the boys in class than the girls flickering in her mind's eye, insisting in no uncertain terms that she was going to race cars when she got older. She already raced dirt bikes, after all. And she'd driven cars before (not legally, of course). She could do it – and Michiru had stared at the girl in class with an expression of wonder on her face.

She'd determined, right then and there, that she had to introduce herself to Haruka. Had to try and be her friend.

And somewhere, thinking about their past, Michiru Kaioh fell asleep, slumped over on the hospital bed Haruka was laying on, her head resting just to the side of Haruka's own, pillowed by her free arm. And her mind? Her mind continued its trip down memory lane….


	2. First Movement

AN: You'll find out what happened to Haruka in the next chapter, not this one. The summary gives a little away, though. Yet again, I remind you that I'm using English honorifics, not Japanese. Welcome to the first trip down memory lane, folks.

Same disclaimer as in the Prelude chapter.

~*Chapter 1*~

"Class!"

Mrs. Toyabe tried to get her class's attention, but the new girl had certainly caused a stir. It was only the third hour of her being in the class, and already Mrs. Toyabe knew things were going to take a while to calm down. Haruka Tenoh had effectively set the entire class on its collective head, simply by stating her future goals in the 'getting to know you' session they'd held for her to acclimate to the new classroom.

Girls, after all, didn't race cars. They didn't want to be mechanics. But Haruka wanted to be both – and was determined to excel in each. The boys were in an uproar to learn that a girl wished to infiltrate their 'domain', while the girls either looked at Haruka in shock, or were insisting that certainly there could be 'better' options for her. Michiru had just watched Haruka with a small smile on her lips, hiding a giggle that threatened to erupt. Haruka, for her part, had just sat there stubbornly, saying absolutely nothing to encourage the behavior of her new classmates. Her eyes swept over them all one by one, though her expression didn't show a lick of emotion – until they crossed over Michiru's near-laughing face. Not mocking, just amused. And the blond just flashed a little grin before schooling her expression back to neutral.

That, Michiru had realized, was the beginning of the end for her heart. That little grin.

In that grin, she'd seen a person she knew understood her, even before they'd spoken a word to each other. She'd seen a person who could challenge her without threatening her, who could walk beside her at whatever pace she walked at. And who obviously had a wicked sense of humor.

After the class had calmed, Mrs. Toyabe encouraged each student to repeat the exercise, letting Haruka know just a bit about them. Name, age, a single favorite – whether it was a favorite color or a favorite food, or anything else they could claim as a favorite – and what their hopeful occupation would be, if they did well in school. Lawyers, doctors, teachers, police-work, veterinarians – each claimed one thing or another. Mentions of udon noodles, or the color pink, or goodness knew what else were chirped. Then came Michiru's turn.

"My name is Michiru Kaioh, I'm twelve years old, my favorite thing in the world is the ocean, and I will be a professional violinist when I get older." There was no room for argument, not the typical 'I want to be a….' or even prefacing it with an 'if I do well' in her statement. And when teal eyes flicked over to the newcomer to their class, she caught the briefest of smiles in her direction. Her heart fluttered, and she was lost. Whoever Haruka Tenoh was, she would be Michiru's friend, come hell or high water.

It wasn't until after school that Michiru next had a chance to talk with Haruka, and even then she found herself running to catch the blond, who was heading for her bicycle to pedal home. Too close to school to take a bus, but too far away to comfortably walk, the bike had been her best option. "Wait! Haruka, wait!" she yelped as she raced across the asphalt that led from the main doors to the bike rack. The blond paused as she'd been about to push off, turned, and once again Michiru was gifted with that grin of hers.

"Michiru, right?" the slightly husky voice questioned as the aqua-haired girl skidded to a stop, drawing in a couple of deeper breaths to compensate for her sprint. She nodded in reply.

"What're you doing after school today?" the young musician asked curiously, hoping the girl didn't have any plans.

The blond had given her the oddest look at her question, as though surprised that she was making an effort to get to know her, and then guardedly responded. "Homework, then off to the track to get some practice in with my bike. Why?"

Michiru's heart fell slightly at the response. "Oh… I was wondering if you'd like to come over. My mother was going to make brownies for her book club tonight, and she always leaves a few behind. But if you already have plans…"

"Tempting," the tomboy responded, appearing as though to weigh her options. "Well, I never said _where_ I was going to do my homework. If you don't mind me calling my father to let him know where I am, I could come over, at least for a little while."

The aqua-haired girl had literally bounced on the balls of her feet for a moment before grinning and gesturing toward the left of their school. "Great! I'm a few blocks that way. Mom can give you a ride home if you want, when you leave," she informed the blond, trying to keep her joy in check as they headed in the direction she'd pointed to.

A hundred questions bubbled into her mind as they walked. Did Haruka like manga, like she did? What was her favorite food? She'd only mentioned that her favorite feeling in the world was going fast – to feel the wind in her hair and on her face. Nothing had been said about anything else. Did she have any pets? Was it all right that Michiru and her family had a sheepdog so large her brother had named him 'Horse' when he was just barely old enough to string three words together? Would she laugh at her when she saw Michiru still slept with a ratty old stuffed bunny? Or that her bed was a canopy bed?

She quieted all of those thoughts as they continued on, but the closer they got to her home, the more nervous she got. And instead, while they walked, she asked innocent questions about what her old school had been like, and what they'd studied. The other girl answered easily, explaining that the school she'd come from hadn't been the friendliest place, but that it certainly had her well-prepared for this one, academically. When Haruka mentioned the topics her classes had gone over, the elder Kaioh child had been impressed – with as far ahead as Haruka was, she was surprised their school had still put her in the current grade. Not that she was complaining.

"Michiru! Oh!" her mother began to greet her – Haruka would later amusingly admit she'd learned just where Michiru got her looks from in that moment, though her hair color was all her father - but was pleasantly startled to see her daughter walking with someone. Friends… friends were a rare thing for the Kaioh girl. "You brought a friend home? How wonderful!" She looked to her daughter expectantly, and Michiru was quick to introduce the two.

"Mom, this is Haruka Tenoh. She's new, and I thought it might be okay if she and I did our homework together today? Haruka, this is my mom."

"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Kaioh," the girl by Michiru's side uttered in that soft, low voice of hers.

"Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, too, Haruka! Please, come in! Of course you're welcome here. I hope you don't mind brownies baking." Haruka shook her head, chuckling as she insisted that brownies were fine with her.

The afternoon had gone by too quickly once the blond had called her father, the girls munching on pieces of brownie while going over their homework, helping each other solve problems (or more, Haruka helped Michiru more often than not, as she was a bit ahead of the class) until the clock in the hallway chimed six. Haruka's eyes had gone wide.

"I have to go, or I'll be late!" True to Michiru's words, the bustling older woman insisted on driving her home, which had Michiru and Haruka huddled in the back seat of their old Toyota, Haruka's bike hanging out of the trunk as they drove.

* * *

The next few months had been a happy blur for Michiru. She and Haruka had become nigh inseparable. It had gotten to the point where, on days Haruka practiced, Michiru would go to the track to watch. On days that Michiru took her violin lessons? Haruka often tagged along, though she wasn't allowed into the lesson room itself. She'd listen at the door, or wander off and find ways of entertaining herself – but she still went, as often as she could. It simply felt right to both of them. And they weren't the only ones who were bonding.

Michiru's parents and Haruka's father became fast friends through all of it, too. The swift acceptance of each other was, perhaps, partially because they both realized that if their daughters were such good friends, there would have to be some collaboration on their part. Another came when Michiru's father, who had taught his daughter how to play the violin earlier in her life, came to learn that Haruka's mother had been a pianist, and that before the woman had died, Haruka had been following in her footsteps. The next thing either girl knew, Haruka was signed up for piano lessons on the Kaioh's bill. It had puzzled Haruka that they'd go so far for a girl that wasn't their own, but Michiru just laughed and insisted she simply accept that her parents were weird. Other moments happened over a short time, as though fate itself were weaving their lives together. Trips that originally had been intended for one family, through flat tires or seized engines, ended up with both taking part. Michiru's mother broke her arm, and Michiru and her brother Kino were sent to Haruka's till her mother and father were back from the hospital. Both families joined forces when Horse ran off during a thunderstorm, scared out of her wits. The pattern continued until the families themselves seemed as inseparable as the two girls.

Haruka had also learned that Michiru simply was not one of the popular kids in school. To be honest, the aqua-haired girl was decidedly unpopular. Oh, she wasn't teased – at least not much – and she wasn't bullied. But most of her classmates simply left her alone. They didn't talk to her unless they had to, though they didn't make a fuss about it. They never invited her to join them after lunch, or after school. It seemed that, to them, Michiru simply existed, and nothing more. Which puzzled the blond, as Michiru had discovered later on, since Haruka admitted that the aqua-haired girl had been intriguing to her from the get-go. It was only after a year of being Michiru's friend that she learned why - and it had all happened a year before they'd met.

It was just after Haruka's thirteenth birthday that the rumors finally reached her ears – and they weren't pretty. In fact, they'd left her feeling slightly sick to her stomach. But she'd gone to Michiru first – the soonest she could – and asked. Even now, Michiru was grateful she had.

"I don't want to talk about it," she'd insisted quietly when Haruka first confronted her, asking her if she'd heard just why their classmates ignored the slight girl.

"I do. Michi… what they said…" Haruka had pressed with a hint of worry in her voice. It'd been a mistake, though not one that couldn't be fixed. Michiru whirled on the blond.

"You believe them? You'd take their word for everything?" Her voice was strained, and she hated that this whole thing affected her so much. Haruka had looked at her so stunned and apologetic, though.

"Of course not. Why'd you think I asked you?" The reply was simple, but earnest. The aqua-haired girl sagged at the plain honesty in the words, then sighed and sat herself down on the grass in front of Haruka's home – they'd gone there after school, since Haruka had practice that evening. "They… they said you'd taken advanta…"

"I know what they say. They told you I forced myself on a girl, didn't they?" The blond had nodded, frowning as she saw her friend shake a little - but she didn't dare touch her yet. She knew her touch would be shaken off till Michiru was ready.

"I kissed a girl. That's all. That's the truth of it. I was eleven. We were on vacation, I didn't even know Ayaka was there, too. I… I really liked this girl there. Midori was her name. I didn't even know what it meant, why I liked her so much. I just… the last day we were there at the hotel, I kissed her." She cursed her luck that Ayaka had seen. And because of that, she'd been shunned – and now Haruka was forced to ask her about it all.

Eventually, she knew that Haruka would have to choose, too: Michiru, or being accepted by any of her classmates. At all.

"I don't know why I did it. But I didn't push myself on her. She and I… It was just a little peck, and she leaned into me, too. She kissed me, too, and…" Haruka held up a hand to stop her friend from rambling, then moved in to wrap the other girl in a hug. Michiru had been stunned at the act, but sank into the arms anyway. It was as though Haruka just knew. She knew the right time to hold her, the right time to stay away, the right words to say, the right things to do.

Even then, even when they were twelve and thirteen.

"It's okay, Michi," the blond had reassured her. "So you kissed someone. Sounds like our classmates are the ones missing out, right? They don't get you as a friend, and I do." The pride in Haruka's voice was easy to pick up on, and the violinist couldn't stop the laughter from escaping her throat.

"There. That's better, right?" her boyish friend insisted with a playful grin as they drew apart. She'd sniffled a little, but nodded – and smiled.

The damage Ayaka had done two years before their conversation had been nearly instant, and complete. Michiru had gone from being a social butterfly to a social pariah over a single summer break. And for a year, she'd been estranged from her peers. She'd cried over it at first, of course, but after a few slobbery licks from Horse and a little growing up, the young violinist had learned to deal with the quiet life she'd gotten from it.

At least, until Haruka had entered her world.

And the way Haruka had dealt with the news had left Michiru gaping… and happy.

It had been a true forging of their friendship – tempering the metal of their bond to strengthen it with every event, every secret shared. It would help when they were both put to the test only two years after.


	3. Dirge

~*Chapter Two*~

Pain was the first thing that registered in Haruka's mind as it struggled through the blackness of unconsciousness toward wakefulness. Pain everywhere. How…? Oh, yes. A robbery gone bad. She remembered stepping in front of Michiru, shoving her away from the line of sight of the gun, cracks shattering the night, and then pain. The robber had given up and fled in that instant; too worried the sound would bring the attention of others too quickly for him to grab anything of value. He cursed, and then ran as Michiru pushed herself from the ground and sank right back down at Haruka's side.

Words of comfort, of reassurance… all uttered from a shaky voice as tears fell to her shoulder. "Michi…" she'd managed, fighting to stay with her. She could hear sirens – someone had called the police, and an ambulance, if the piercing wail of the vehicles was anything to go by. Help was near.

"I'm here, Ruka. I'm not going anywhere. Just … stay awake. You have to hang on, they're coming for us," the violinist insisted, and Haruka smiled as lips brushed her cheek a few times. She'd stay alive just so she could feel that again.

"I'll stay…" she responded, gritting her teeth and fighting the creeping darkness on the edges of her mind. She could feel the wetness at her back where her own blood was pooling, but she could also feel the warm hands coaxing her to fight it. To keep on living. Her Michiru, crying and whispering words of solace and fierce protection.

She fought, even as the paramedics began working on her. Fought through the annoyingly long ambulance ride to the hospital, knowing that Michiru was in the front seat, just a few feet away even if she couldn't see her. It was only when they arrived at the hospital, as she was being wheeled to the emergency room, that she gave in – though she wasn't sure if it was through blood loss, shock, or if they'd drugged her into unconsciousness.

Green eyes cracked open, and as she realized her shoulder was warm, a second later she saw why – Michiru's head pillowed by that shoulder, and the girl was sound asleep. "Michi…" she breathed, her heart giving a pleasant lurch as it so often did when she looked at the woman who had become her life-mate. Her partner in battle as well as in love.

They'd been through so much – and since they'd met, it was always together. From schoolmates who didn't seem to want to understand either of them, to world-shattering events that had left them both in the care of a sponsor-like relative, to revelations that had changed their entire views on what the future held for them. They'd faced it all together, and Haruka couldn't think of any other way she'd want it. It was the reason she'd pushed Michiru out of the way that night, taking the bullets meant for her lover. Taking them without transforming, and risking her very life for the woman beside her.

Fingers on the only arm free of tubes and needles lifted from beneath the thin blanket that had been pulled over her, caressing Michiru's cheek. Nearly from the start, they'd had their hardships. Sure, the first two or three years weren't bad – their families had been friends, and they'd all seen happy times together before tragedy had struck. But it _had _struck. She recalled the first hardship they'd faced in tandem as that weak hand settled in the gentle curls of her lover's aquamarine hair.

* * *

The day had started innocently enough. They were already seven weeks into the new school year, their first year as high school students! They were looking forward to that day – the start of the weekend. The sky was bright and sunny, and their parents had planned a day trip for them to the local aquarium – considering it was one of Michiru's favorite places, and Haruka had expressed interest in checking it out, too, both because it was something that made Michiru happy, and because she loved to look at the sharks.

So they piled into two cars and headed out. At first, everything seemed to be going perfectly. The exhibits were amazing. Everyone seemed truly happy. Even the gentle teasing between Michiru and Kino was good-natured and didn't erupt (as it often did) into hurt feelings.

Fate had other plans for them.

They'd left the aquarium and headed for a nearby park to walk when Kino insisted he wanted ice cream. There was a vendor just around the block; he remembered when they'd come in that they'd had to pass it. Michiru and Haruka, on the other hand, had just bought some food for the koi in the pond they were standing in front of, so their parents decided to take Kino for ice cream and leave the girls to their koi feeding.

They'd been gone for ten minutes when the shaking started, and the ground groaned. Seconds later, piercing human screams shattered the air.

The two girls had been on edge when the ground began to roll under their feet, but they were far enough away from the nearby buildings not to have to worry about them. However, they immediately jolted when they heard voices of alarm, sharing a panicked look. Remaining where they were was excruciating – but they stayed put until the quaking earth finally ceased rumbling beneath their feet. Only then did they rush over to the sound of the screams – which had faded into sobs by this point.

The building that had been beside the ice cream vendor had been old – and not up to code for earthquakes. In fact, it had been scheduled for renovation that summer – scaffolding had already been put in place around it. But it hadn't been enough.

Twelve people lay on the ground beside the crumbling building – including the families of Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh. Some were groaning, trying to shift or get up. Most, like their families, remained motionless on the concrete. The world, for a few seconds, went silent in the blond's head. Nothing registered except the bloody mess in front of her.

Haruka's vision spun. There was a screaming in her ears that she realized was coming from the petite girl beside her – and her arms went out to hold onto her instinctively. Just in time, too – she felt a pull on those arms as Michiru tried to get to her family, though Haruka knew it would only put her in harm's way, too. One aftershock and the building could fall on her, too.

They were too young for this, Haruka thought to herself, her mind scrambling to try and make sense of it all. Yet… Having someone who needed her managed to pull her mind away from the shock of it, focusing on something far less traumatizing. One arm circled her friend's waist from behind, the other wrapped around her shoulders – holding her back as the aqua-haired teen screamed for her parents. For her brother. Haruka knew if she hadn't felt the desire to protect Michiru, she'd likely have been doing the same for her father. Even now, she felt the tears streaking down her own cheeks, silent testaments to the loss her heart already recognized.

At some point, the petite girl twisted in the grip Haruka had on her, giving up her fight to reach her family and instead collapsing in on herself and her friend, shaking sobs expressing her grief. The tomboy's arms tightened instinctively, and they remained that way until paramedics and police arrived on the scene.

The rest of the day was a blur, vague memories sometimes casting a portrait now and again in her head. Most of it was lost to time by now.

She remembered the trip to the hospital. The news that Michiru's mother was still alive, but in a coma – and the prognosis was not good. She remembered the police there, asking questions as a doctor looked over each of them and doing what they could. The two were in shock, but little could be done about it. She recalled insisting that whatever happened that night, they didn't separate them. That Michiru needed her. That she needed Michiru. There was some fuzzy recollection of some controversy, some reluctance, hours sitting in the hospital and waiting – wondering what would happen.

Finally, a stately looking man arrived, claiming to be a relative of Michiru's. A second cousin once or twice removed – Haruka didn't care much for the details, only that Michiru refered to him as 'Uncle'. He was, after all, old enough to be an uncle of hers, or possibly a grandparent! But he seemed kind enough, talking softly with the doctors and the authorities, pulling out papers from an old, leather briefcase. Whatever he'd said, or shown people, it was like a magic ticket. The adults had all started nodding and agreeing, and the next thing Haruka remembered, they were stopping at her home to pick up some things, then heading to Michiru's home. To stay.

Later, when their minds were better able to absorb everything that had happened, the man had re-introduced himself to the two girls, explaining that their parents had collaborated on a Will together, after realizing just how close their families had become, despite the short time it'd happened in. It had sounded crazy to anyone who hadn't been part of the two families in that short time, but for them? It had been a given. Something that simply had to be done. There had been few other extended family members in either family tree that they felt comfortable with, after all. The lawyers themselves had reservations over the arrangement, but after assurances that this was for the best, that the families had become all but inseparable by the end of a year sharing each others' interests? That plus a hefty fee had them all working through the paperwork. And now?

The Will had insisted on each family taking over the other in the event that something happened to them. If something happened to Haruka's father, Haruka and a rather substantial sum of money to help cover the cost of raising her would be given to the Kaiohs – and vice versa for Michiru and Kino. There were some things, odds and ends and family heirlooms, that would go to other family members. But the bulk went with the children – now only two remaining from both families.

The problem was both fathers had perished, a brother had perished, and Michiru's mother was hanging on by a fraying thread. The legalities, in that case, became muddied until the arrival of Michiru's cousin – the only other family member who had copies of the wills. And the only other family member the Kaiohs had trusted with their children in the event they could no longer care for them.

Custody was handed over to Michiru's 'Uncle' – Uncle Hatsuto Kaioh. Paperwork would follow, along with working out the details of just how they would go on with their lives. But for the time being?

Haruka packed her things carefully, with Michiru sitting on her bed with a vacant look in her eyes, tears still trickling down her cheeks now and again. Haruka had gone through this once, a few years before. She knew the bitter pain of loss, and knew how to deal with it and what to expect. It didn't make the grief any easier to deal with – but it helped with that awful feeling of the 'unknown'. A feeling she knew was eating away at the pit of Michiru's stomach. Once a good chunk of her things were packed, she closed the suitcase and turned to wrap her arms back around the slender girl on her bed.

"I'm here," she whispered, and she felt thin but strong arms holding tightly to her in return.

"Ruka…" her name was all Michiru said, and all she would say for another couple of hours. The ride to the Kaioh residence was silent, and the night was mockingly beautiful – not a cloud hid the stars or the moon, and they twinkled brightly in the inky black heavens. It would have been better if it was raining, the blond remembered thinking to herself. At least it would fit the mood.

Dinner was almost as quiet. They'd called to have some food delivered, some noodles and roasted chicken on slim sticks* that would keep till the following day if it wasn't eaten that night. And a good thing, too – more than half was put into the refrigerator, untouched. Horse was fed, though even the dog seemed reluctant to eat.

"Uncle Hatsu…" the aqua-haired girl finally uttered just before they were about to head for bed, her voice tired and heavy with grief.

The man smiled sadly, and then wrapped both girls into a gentle hug. "We'll get through this. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you'll be okay. And until then, I'll help you girls with anything you need. Now… off to bed."

They'd slept wrapped around each other that night, and Haruka remembered that being the first time she'd realized how right it had felt to be in Michiru's arms. And how bitter she felt that it'd taken something so horrible for her to recognize it.

* * *

*cold soba noodles and Yakitori, for those who want to know


	4. Duet

~*Chapter Three*~

Haruka's mind was brought back to focus on the present when she felt the girl beside her shift just a bit. Michiru was waking up. It never failed to bring a grin to the racer's lips – shortly after stirring, the violinist's nose would wrinkle adorably for a second, as though it knew just what was about to happen before the rest of her body did. Then those dark lashes would slowly open, revealing sleep-hazed teal eyes to the world. Then she'd watch focus return to her lover's gaze, followed by a kitten-like stretch and an incoherent, groggy mumble. Only then would the day begin – one way or another. Even in this awkward position, even though she'd probably only slept a couple of hours at most, Haruka watched her lover with an odd sense of wonder as she went through the motions she always took when waking.

"Ah… there's my sleeping beauty," she murmured, fingers carding through sea-toned curls as Michiru finally became aware of what was around her.

"Ruka…" the girl's voice was laced with joy and surprise to find her protector was awake again – and seemingly far better off than she'd been only hours ago. "How're you feeling?"

The blond smirked at the question, then frowned a little. "Like I was shot three times?" she replied, giving her head the tiniest of shakes. "Not as bad as I could be, though. Must have me on something strong."Michiru nodded at this, then leaned in and brushed the lightest of kisses to Haruka's lips.

"You're alive, and awake. That's all that matters. Hotaru will be happy to know her Papa is all right, too." Though they weren't out of the woods, yet. The doctors were still worried about complications, and until they gave the all-clear Michiru would still worry. "You gave us such a scare. Without the benefit of a transformation, you could have…" she broke off, her voice cracking slightly toward the end, which was like an arrow in Haruka's heart.

"I… I'm sorry, Michi. I just saw the gun and I acted. I couldn't let him… Not you. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if you'd been shot." Her partner gave her a watery smile at that, and a tear slid down her pale cheek.

"Just remember, Ruka… I feel the same about you."

There was a light pink tint to Haruka's cheeks that Michiru found absolutely endearing, and a moment later that free hand of the racer lifted and traced along its partner attached to the violinist. The aqua-haired girl's fingers twitched slightly at first, then lifted to the delicate dance they'd long since grown accustomed to, twining and untwining, shifting until fingers slid together properly and they were left simply holding hands. It had started back when they were younger – shortly before Haruka learned she was a Senshi – and to this day, it never failed to make both girls' hearts flutter.

"I can't promise I won't do it again, but… I'll try." It was the closest thing Michiru would get to the promise she wanted, and so the girl simply nodded, then lifted their clasped hands to her lips, pink flesh ghosting over Haruka's knuckles.

The tomboy smiled then eyes widened in shock for a moment as a yawn took over – was she really that tired? The girl at her side giggled, then leaned in to gift her with another achingly soft kiss to her lips. "Sleep, Ruka. I'll watch over your dreams." The kiss left Haruka dazed for a moment, but the blond gave a tiny nod a moment later and let her eyes close. Whether it was her body trying to mend, or the drugs they put her on, she was exhausted – and having her lover beside her certainly helped comfort her as she drifted off to sleep.

Once she was certain that the Senshi of the Wind had drifted back into deep slumber, the aqua-haired woman couldn't help but smile. Haruka would be okay. The minute she'd opened her eyes and saw her lover awake, Michiru had known the other woman would be just fine. It would take some time, a lot of rest and some rehabilitation, but she knew her partner would recover completely. It wouldn't be any harder or easier than the loss of their families, and they'd gotten through that, hadn't they?

And bitter as the loss had been, they'd found the silver lining in it all – it'd brought them ever closer, a step beyond friendship.

* * *

She remembered that night vividly. The night the world showed her just how bittersweet it could be. She'd been reeling from loss, fear, and heartache. Feeling as though the water she loved so much had come to drown her and swallow her whole. There had been no sky above, no air to breathe – until arms wrapped around her as they lay in bed. Such a small change, yet it made all the difference. She'd twisted to face her best friend, and the next thing she knew, her own arms had circled Haruka, her face pressed against the soft flesh between shoulder and breast, and she'd clung to her through the night.

It'd been right. And it would have been perfect, had the reason for such a display not been so cruel. She'd even woken up to the sweetest feeling of fingers carding through her hair and trailing along her back.

Despite their grief – despite their loss and their aching hearts - it was then that they'd both realized their friendship was far more than simple friendship. And it was that morning that they shared their first, hesitant kiss.

It was Michiru who had started it, too, though she blamed the wonderful feeling of Haruka's fingers along her back as the catalyst for her initiative. She'd laid there in bed, the early morning sun peeking through her window and warming the sheets they were tangled in, and savored the feel of fingers tracing words along her back – along the bare skin where her pajama top had ridden up. Words, she realized. Not just patterns, but words. She sniffled a little, nuzzling into Haruka's shoulder, until she felt those fingertips etch out the word 'love'. Then the hand stilled, resting over smooth skin once Haruka realized that Michiru was very much awake.

"Hey… you okay?" that low, husky voice asked her. The young violinist had shaken her head slightly, but just as she felt that warm hand lighten as though to leave, she pushed up just a few inches, her head tipping so that her lips could brush along Haruka's own. The hand never did leave. Instead, it paused – as though the blond was in shock – and then settled at the small of Michiru's back, pulling her closer.

The kiss lasted a few long seconds as Michiru felt her heart jolt in her chest – Haruka was kissing her back! Those arms around her tightened for a moment, then relaxed as the kiss ended and they were left staring at each other. Grief had pushed them past what barriers they'd set up for themselves, and Michiru had known then and there that there was no going back. Not that she wanted to.

"This isn't going to be easy," she heard Haruka say, even as fingers moved to sift through her hair. Her eyes opened – and she was dimly aware that she'd closed them for the kiss.

"I don't care," was her own stubborn response. "Life's already made things hard. It'll be easier facing it with you." She took a slow breath, letting that sentiment settle, then smiling the tiniest of smiles. "I could go through this a hundred times and be okay, so long as you were here, 'Ruka."

That earned a watery, half-laugh before lips claimed her own again – this time Haruka was the one who'd made the motion, and Michiru let the sensation chase away some of her heartache.

"I feel the same," her friend had said once the second kiss had ended, and together they'd laid on Michiru's bed for another ten minutes, just holding each other.

Eventually, though, they had to get up. There were funeral arrangements that needed to be taken care of, living arrangements that needed work, school issues to deal with… And Michiru's mother to think about.

Hanging to life by a thread.

They took turns for the bathroom, getting ready for the day, then together shuffled down into the kitchen, where Uncle Hatsuto was fixing a western breakfast.

"Morning, girls. Sleep all right?" the man asked the pair, and they shared a small glance between them before nodding.

"As well as could be expected," the violinist replied quietly. Polite as she almost always was. '_Better, actually_,' but she wasn't about to say that. They picked up plates, then added toast, a fried egg, and some sliced carrot and lettuce before sitting down and pouring themselves some orange juice, while Michiru's Uncle made a small cup of coffee.

"Good," the older man said as he settled at the table. "We need to discuss what will happen to the two of you, but I think that can wait for a time. Michiru… Your mother is still alive, but the doctors do not think she will last long. I would advise you going to the hospital to spend what time you can with her. We can talk of the house, Horse, and your lodgings tomorrow, or the day after if necessary."

Both girls nodded, picking at their food solemnly, neither one all that hungry. Despite it, they did eat – Haruka nudging Michiru and insisting that it wouldn't be good to go the entire day on an empty stomach – before heading to the hospital. Uncle Hatsuto dropped the two off, insisting that he'd be taking care of funeral arrangements, and handed them some money for lunch and a single document. "If someone gives you trouble for being there, or being alone, just show them that and they'll leave you be," he insisted gently. "I'll meet you here around three, and we can talk more over dinner." Haruka was already liking this cousin-called-Uncle of Michiru's. He was a nice guy, she had to admit, especially for an adult trying to take care of them.

The entire morning and part of the afternoon was spent in Michiru's mother's hospital room, neither one saying much of anything. They'd pulled two chairs over, the violinist holding one of her mother's hands in her own, while Haruka settled beside her friend, an arm wrapped around her shoulders. They only stirred when the blond realized it was going on one, and they hadn't eaten. Yet again she acted as the voice of reason, leading Michiru to the cafeteria to eat, only to resume their previous sitting while the machines the older woman was hooked up to beeped steadily.

The sound of Uncle Hatsuto clearing his throat broke them from the stupor of listening to a clock tick and a heart monitor beep. Two pairs of eyes fixed on him, and he managed a sad smile. "I'm sorry… I'm later than I expected. But if you wish we can go home, or somewhere else for dinner. There is a lot we need to discuss."

"Out."Michiru didn't even need to hesitate. In public, she'd remain far more composed than alone, and she'd be able to focus on what was being said, rather than her heartache. "Let's go out to eat, Uncle Hatsu…" she insisted in a quiet yet firm voice.

So they'd gone out.

Over a shared plate of potstickers, the two girls learned the finer details of what was going on.

"When all of this is over, custody of the two of you will be turned over to me. That is… unless your mother makes a full recovery, Michiru…"

"Which isn't looking likely," the girl responded in a monotone voice, earning her shoulder a small squeeze from the blond sitting to her right. Even if her mother were to survive this, the doctors had little hope of her being anything more than a shell – brain-dead and incapable of raising the girls any further.

"I don't want to think about it any more than the two of you wish to. But we'll be forced to, I think, in the next few weeks. You girls are old enough to begin dictating your own lives, though. I've seen you both do so on a number of occasions, just this past year." Both girls raised eyebrows at this, and Hatsu did manage a sad chuckle. "I know you didn't see me around, but I talked to my brother almost every week, and… I've been around, when work allowed me to."

He drew in a long breath to steady his voice, then released it and continued. "Your parents, when they've spoken to me about you, have told be a lot about you two. You are both driven individuals, and I do not wish to step between you and your plans for the future. That isn't to say I will not be a guardian for you. If you need someone to talk to, or need help in any way, I'll be there the minute you ask. It would be too much to ask either of you to shoulder all of the burdens of adulthood while you're still learning your way through life," the older man continued with a sad smile.

"I would suggest that, if the worst happens, we sell the houses your parents own now and find somewhere you can live together in until your schooling ends. Something not quite so large, where you won't have to worry about yard work or upkeep on the property itself. I'll even pay for it – you can put what money you have from your parents away to grow for the future, and I don't have any children of my own – so who else should I spend my money on?"

Michiru dipped a potsticker into the dark brown sauce in its dish, then chewed thoughtfully on a bite before giving a tiny nod. "I think it would work," she murmured, then glanced to her quiet friend.

Haruka considered the prospect a few moments before nodding her assent. "Sure. It isn't like there are many options, anyway," she insisted, eyes falling to her plate for a few moments before lifting to fix on her best friend. "And … I'd like the company."

Hatsuto Kaioh glanced between the two girls curiously, careful not to let his watchfulness be noticed, and smiled slightly to himself. Their parents had been right – there was far more between them than simple friends would share. The two had an air of destiny about them, and shared a connection that ran deeper than most people could likely fathom. He would wager that if they didn't end up in a relationship together, they would be joined at the hip till the day they died in other ways, their fates intertwined – he was certain of it.

Michiru finished her potsticker, then smiled over to her uncle – genuine, even if her loss never really left her eyes. "Uncle Hatsuto… thank you. For everything. I know it can't be easy for you – you loved my parents as much as I do, at least. But … it means a great deal to me, and I think Haruka as well, that you're doing this for us. I mean… I know it's in the will, but you didn't have to accept. You didn't have to do any of this, and…"

"Michiru. You're a wonderful girl, as is Haruka. I couldn't say no, for so many reasons. The fact that I loved my brother dearly, and my sister-in-law – your mother – is part of it. But … a bit of it is because of what I see when I look at the two of you. I want to help the two of you in whatever way I can. It would be an honor."

Both girls blushed at the compliments, and they finished their dinner in silence before returning back to the Kaioh home. Horse greeted the three of them enthusiastically, and after giving him some much-needed and deserved attention and walking, they headed for bed.

Except that things had already changed drastically between Michiru and Haruka, and both girls could feel it, as though it were some tangible thing lingering between them.

"Do you want the shower first?" the aqua-haired girl asked gently as Haruka began going through her bag for her pajamas and the following day's clothing. The blond's head turned toward her friend, cheeks flushed despite the innocence of the question.

"Hm?"

"The shower. Do you want it first?"

Haruka had faltered still, wavering in her reply as she stared at the girl she considered to be her best friend. Part of her wanted to say 'we could share', but the rational side of her insisted they were still too young. Such things were meant for adults, after all, and while they were getting older, they weren't quite so mature. Not yet.

So she gave a small smile to Michiru, abandoning her task to stand before her friend, and arms looped around the other girl's small waist. "You go first. I can wait," she insisted – but didn't let go of her just yet. And it seemed as though Michiru didn't want to be let go of, either. She nodded, but slid her arms up and around the back of Haruka's neck, her head falling to rest against the taller girl's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," the words spilled out after a few moments of peace. "You've been so… amazing. You've been so strong for me, and I know it's got to be eating away at you, too." Haruka had tensed in her friend's arms at that. It was true enough – Haruka wanted nothing more than to fall apart, to scream at how unfair the world was. To sob over the loss of the last family she knew. But she'd been strong for Michiru, who had lost three, not one. She'd held herself together, acting as the person Michi needed.

She'd no idea that the other girl had noticed, but hearing it nearly undid all she'd worked hard to hide. A shiver ran through her, and she felt her friends arms tighten around her neck, pulling her down. Haruka buried her face into the curve of her friend's throat, and the shaking continued until she heard a soft sob… and realized the sound hadn't come from Michiru, but from herself.

"Michi…" she choked out quietly, the name muffled against the girl's skin. "I miss him…"

Finally, Haruka was grieving, letting the emotions run through her rather than shoving them aside to be the rock her friend had needed the last twenty-four hours. And Michiru simply sniffled and cried with her, mourning her own loss and trying to comfort the girl who had given her such support.

Neither girl knew who had started the kisses that night, either. They'd collapsed on the bed at some point, neither with the will to remain standing. And someone dropped a kiss on someone's shoulder, and the other ghosted their lips over a pale throat. It never went further than kisses and soft touches to exposed skin. A whisper of fingers along an arm, or tracing a jaw line. Or a mouth that held fast to the heated flesh of the other girl's neck, enticing soft mewls of pleasure that served as a wall against the pain of loss.

No, neither girl knew how it had started this time, nor did they remember when it had ended. At some point, though, they must have faded into the blackness of sleep.

It was the middle of the night when consciousness began to return to them. Once again they were a tangle of limbs. Each had one arm somewhere around the other's middle, while Haruka had one hand tangled in Michiru's hair, and Michiru had her second hand resting over Haruka's upper arm. Foreheads rested against one another, and gold and aqua hair wove together on their shared pillow. Lower limbs formed a basket weave of sorts, alternating limbs going in opposite directions.

It was Haruka who opened her eyes first, and she couldn't help the smile that came to her face when she saw Michiru just inches away. As though she sensed her friend waking, a moment later the petite girl's eyes flicked open as well, and she immediately tipped her head in to steal a quick, close-mouthed kiss from Haruka's lips.

"It's still dark," the shorter girl observed a moment later, frowning as blue eyes took in the inky black through the window over Haruka's shoulder.

The blond sighed, nuzzling into her friend's cheek and hair. "Too early to be up…"

Yet neither seemed able to sleep.

"Ruka?" the blond felt the girl in her arms tense for a moment.

"Mm?"

"This… whatever it is… between us. You're okay with it, right?" There was a hint of uncertainty in the girl's voice, even as she lifted her head from Haruka's chest for a moment to truly look at her. "You want it, too?"

The blond lay there stunned for a moment, letting her eyes fall closed as Michiru watched her. She knew Haruka well enough – the girl wasn't hesitating in her answer so much as she was likely trying to work out how to phrase her answer so she was satisfied with it. Or perhaps she was mulling over the very thing Michiru had been all day – trying to define just what _was_ between them. Finally, green eyes opened and a smile was gifted to the violinist as the arm around her middle tightened a touch. "I couldn't ever be unhappy with anything that was 'us', Michi. So yes, I'm 'okay' with it. More than 'okay'. I don't even know if there's a name for 'us' or what we have. Maybe we're too young to know one. Or maybe they'll never come up with the right term. But … there is an 'us'. And part of me knows that since I met you, there always has been." She frowned a little, stroking her hand through Michiru's hair. She wasn't much of a talker usually, but in this case she wanted to get it all out.

"I want you. I want 'us', Michi. Never, ever doubt that." Haruka had kissed her then, taking her breath away and sending her heart thudding in her throat for a few moments with the sheer joy of it all.

They stayed awake for a good hour or two longer, twined contentedly together till first Haruka drifted off, then Michiru as weariness finally caught up with her.

* * *

It was Horse that woke them up the next morning, the large dog insisting on climbing into Michiru's bed and licking their faces.

"Horse…." Haruka groaned as the girl in her arms giggled, fingers lifting to shove the happy dog to the side so they could sit up. The larger dog didn't bark – he never did – but he made a little 'harumph' sound as though irritated that the two girls were still in bed when there were things to do – like take him for a walk.

"Someone wants to be taken out," Michiru snickered, rolling out of bed and stretching with toes curled and arms lifted high. Haruka looked over just in time to see the display, and her cheeks went slightly pink – how lucky was she that the girl she was watching was hers? "Well, then, let's oblige his majesty, shall we?" she responded with a little grin of her own.

It almost felt normal.

For a few minutes, both girls had forgotten their loss. For those few moments in time, the grief wasn't there, and it was just the two of them – going through the motions of what could be their mundane lives. Young as they were, Michiru knew they could do it, too – they could live like this. They could wake up in the morning, have breakfast, go to school – and when they got older, a job – come home… a plain routine made perfect just because it'd be the two of them.

Of course, forgetting could only last so long. Neither needed to dress – they'd fallen asleep wearing their clothes from the night before, having long forgotten to shower – but as they headed for the door, they shared a glance. Expressions were bittersweet, smiling strained smiles at each other. Both were glad for the company, both were glad to have the other to lean against as they struggled to get through the hand life had dealt them. But both _were_ still struggling.

Horse helped, prancing in front of them as though he hadn't noticed the loss of three of his masters, snuffling at flowers or other hidden scents only he could pick up. His nose twitched this way and that as he meandered through the neighborhood, and the pair behind him simply let him choose where to go. They didn't talk during the walk – they simply strolled side by side, fingers occasionally brushing against each other, and eventually Horse grew tired and headed home. Michiru knew he would, too – he always did. Even on the few occasions that he'd gotten out, he'd return tired and dirty but incredibly happy to be home.

The afternoon was funeral preparations and another visit to the hospital.

The next morning, Michiru learned that there would be one more funeral to prepare for – her mother had passed away during the night. Haruka had watched her carefully for her reaction, but it would seem that her companion had already cried as much as she was capable of crying. There were no more tears to shed, only a significant sense of loss.

To keep things simple, and not have them grieving for longer than necessary, all four funerals had been orchestrated to occur together. There'd been no objections, as no one had the heart to force either of the two surviving girls to suffer any longer than absolutely necessary. Even if some didn't like the idea of Haruka's father's grave being so far away from her mother's, or that they would be grieving with total strangers, one look at the pair of girls mourning the loss of the last close family they had shut everyone up.

The night following those funerals, a storm crashed into Japan – a weak typhoon, but powerful enough keep all of Tokyo indoors for the night. Rain lashed at windows, blowing horizontal as trees bent in the wind. The sea churned with a deep-seated anger, and those ships and boats not properly secured certainly were rueful of it the next morning. To Michiru and Haruka, it only seemed that the elements themselves were mourning with them.

Yet the next morning, the sun peeked over the horizon, welcoming a new day as though the world hadn't been a vicious, whirling mess overnight. The two girls stepped out onto the front stoop for Horse's morning walk together, and despite tree limbs littering the yard, the pair couldn't help but feel an odd sense of hope. Fingers twined together for a few moments, tight and reassuring.

They'd get through this.

* * *

Author's Note:

So... we're halfway through now. three more chapters and an epilogue to go. All chapters are uploaded now, just needing some extra editing and TLC before posting. Stand by for more - they should be happening every day or two (or three, if one gives me trouble).

Please let me know what you think. Right now things are pretty tame, but things are about to get heated. The trips down memory lane are over, and reality is about to rear its ugly head. Won't say any more than that.


	5. Allegro

~*Chapter Four*~

It had been four days since Haruka had been admitted to the hospital.

Four long, nerve-wracking days.

Michiru had remained at the blond's side as long as the nurses would allow her to remain there. Most of the time, the racer remained asleep, too heavily drugged to do much of anything else. And for good reason. The medical team had wheeled her back into surgery the day before - the surgery she'd been through initially had only found two bullets. The third had come out last night.

The aqua-haired violinist had settled into the room the moment they'd allowed her back in. There were too many machines to keep vigil at her side this time, though, so the aqua-haired violinist instead moved her chair to the foot of the bed, dozing off at some point in the night while fingers curled into the too-white fabric covering Haruka's feet.

* * *

Michiru awoke a few hours later to a loud, steady tone. A frozen heartbeat later, three people rushed into the room – a young woman who looked to be a nurse, another older woman who seemed to be a doctor, and a young man dressed similarly to the female doctor, perhaps an intern? All three looked to be in a odd sort of calm-panic, and a single look to Haruka and the machines she was attached to had her heart plummeting.

"_**Haruka**_!" the scream tore from her throat, shoving herself from her chair with both hands covering her mouth. She trembled, but didn't move – too scared to interrupt what they were doing. A few seconds later, another nurse appeared and tugged lightly on her hands to get her moving again.

"Come… there's nothing you can do here except get in the way and worry yourself sick," the woman's voice registered in her ears, sounding hollow to the aqua-haired woman.

"… Ruka… Ruka don't you dare leave me! You _PROMISED_!" the words left her lips as she was dragged out, the doctors working feverishly to bring her blond lover back from death's door.

* * *

"You should leave her be," she heard a voice insist. Rei. The miko that knew so much about the unknown. But arms wrapped around her despite the warning. Warm arms that tried with every ounce of their being to comfort.

And they did comfort, oddly enough. They weren't Haruka's arms. But they were strong, just the same. Strong and soft all at once. "Usagi…" the outer senshi choked out, a delicate hand rising to wrap around one of the girl's wrists. It stayed there for a moment or two, clinging to her queen's limb as though it were her last lifeline. And then something happened that drew startled gasps from everyone around them. Something Michiru had only done before with Haruka. She twisted in her chair – the one Usagi was standing behind to hug her – and buried her face into the girl's stomach, sobbing as though Haruka had left her forever. Because, for all she knew, the blond had.

Every loss she'd experienced in the last ten years had been with Haruka at her side. Her parents. Her brother. Horse. Even their own deaths had been shared, perishing twice in their time as Senshi, laying side by side having each made the same decision.

She could face anything so long as Haruka was there – her Guardian of the Wind. But this? She wasn't sure if she could live through this.

"I need her." The statement sounded like it'd been uttered from someone already dead, muffled into the fabric of Usagi's sundress.

"I know." It was all that Usagi would say. She knew how much Michiru needed Haruka, and how much Haruka needed Michiru. The two were a team – far more than any other of the Senshi around her. They were strongest together, their powers combined could surpass anything most could dream of.

Gentle fingers stroked through Michiru's hair, trying their best to help ease the pain the aqua-haired girl was in. And it did seem to help, even if just a little. The older woman's cries muffled a bit more, quieting despite never ceasing. "I want… I want to follow her. I've followed her everywhere," she murmured against Usagi's shirt. "She's followed me, too. … But I can't…" Because she was duty-bound to remain. To protect Usagi.

"Neptune…" the young queen-to-be breathed, frowning as she continued to try and soothe the woman. "Neptune… if it comes to that, if…." She swallowed hard, and the other inner Senshi looked at her in horror. "You have permission to follow her."

"No!" the others gasped, but Neptune simply hugged Usagi tighter, and the softest of 'thank you's could be heard.

Because Usagi understood – sometimes death was a gift, not a punishment. And Neptune would be a shell of herself if left without Uranus.

"Just promise me something," she continued, delicate fingers tipping Michiru's head upward so her loyal Outer Senshi could look her in the eye. She received a head-bob and knew it was the most she'd get – she doubted Michiru trusted her own voice much at this point.

"Wait until there's no more hope. Wait until I've exhausted all I can do. Because I… no… WE won't let her go without a fight." Tears were in both their eyes as the violinist nodded her assent once more, then hugged the woman who was both her queen and her friend. "Hold onto your hope, Michiru… Much is possible if you simply believe it is."

That much the Senshi of the Sea knew. How many times had she proven it, over and over, to all of the Outer Senshi when they doubted her? How many times had the three elder 'Outers' thought the only possibility was death or hardship – and Usagi… no… Serenity had shown them it wasn't so?

"I'll wait. But please… you'll tell me if there's no hope left, won't you?"

"I promise."

Michiru gave one last nod, and within a minute, she was asleep – arms folded in Usagi's lap, head resting on top. The queen simply smiled a bittersweet smile and let her sleep.

"Why did you say that?" hissed Rei a few minutes later, though she kept her voice down so she wouldn't rouse Michiru. "You'd let her kill herself?"

"Rei…" It was Serenity that addressed the girl – not Usagi. "How often have they ever acted alone? Truly acted alone? How often have you seen them on their own, without knowing exactly where the other was, and what they were doing? They are Yin and Yang, two halves to a whole, and incomplete without the other. If I forced Michiru to remain when there was no hope of getting Haruka back, she would be empty. Lost. If Haruka dies, Michiru dies with her – even if her body remains alive. You know this. In your heart, you must know this."

Rei looked about to argue, fingers clenched tightly at her sides, but a moment later her shoulders sagged. Her queen was right. The other three looked solemn, but nodded.

"Then we'll just have to do what we can to keep Haruka alive, won't we?" The Inner Senshi nodded, each moving their hand to rest over the Queen's – who had laid her own over the back of Neptune's head. After a few minutes, a soft glow could be seen – not very bright, but very much there, laced through their joined hands.

* * *

"Miss Kaioh?"

The woman in question sniffed lightly, but nodded. She'd been caught between sleeping, crying, and struggling to keep hope for the last ten hours. Teal blue eyes fixed on the older female doctor with cropped black hair that was speaking to her.

"I was informed that you and Miss Tenoh are …"

"She is my partner. In everything."

"Very well. In absence of her family, I suppose you're the closest thing she's got. We managed to stabilize her. What we feared happening … It was an embolism. I'll spare you the details – you've been through enough. She's in an induced coma, as we feared brain damage due to the location of the embolism. The danger for that has passed, and we ceased continuation of the drugs, but she hasn't woken up yet. I won't lie to you – there is still a reasonable chance that she won't ever wake up. But… as I said, she's stable at the moment. If you would like to see her, you can. And…"

The doctor hesitated, looking the girl over. She was much too thin – probably from the last few days of not eating a great deal, not sleeping when she needed to, and worrying. She loved the blond woman they'd just pulled from the brink. There was no doubting it.

"And?"

"Talk to her. Many coma patients who come out of it report they could hear the people around them. At least some of the time." She gave the girl a kind smile, a hand lifting to give that too-thin shoulder a small squeeze. "Go see her. She'll need you there." She gave her Haruka's new room, promising that everything that could be moved to it had already been moved, then left.

Michiru nodded, then hurried to Haruka's side once more.

* * *

Author's Note: Almost out of the woods. two more chapters to go, and an epilogue. But you know what they say - to get out of the woods, sometimes you have to go further into the darkness... ;-)


	6. Morendo

~*Chapter Five*~

When Michiru woke again, she felt like she was in a fog, as though the world had been locked in the lightest of hazes. Perhaps the muffled sense of reality was for lack of good sleep, or food, or … a number of other things that could have caused it. She couldn't have slept all that long, really - it was still dark, and she didn't recall there being light outside when she'd skidded into Haruka's room.

Her vision snapped up to the window, peering at the soft lines of one of the maple trees in the distance, illuminated in eerie relief by the light of the moon. Even the outdoors seemed wrong.

She could hear voices, muted and distant from the hallway, as though further away than they certainly were. Colors seemed grey and dull, even as her gaze fell back to the empty bed.

_**Empty**_.

Teal eyes went wide in panic. Her legs straightened beneath her shakily, determinedly reaching over to grab the nurse call button, slamming her finger against it till it felt raw.

'Please… please let Haruka still be alive!' she thought to herself, finger still jamming against that button over and over. As though the action alone could bring her koi back to her.

"Miss… Miss!" a petite nurse came running in, brown eyes narrowed in concern. "What's wrong?"

"The girl here… where did she go?" Michiru's heart clenched sharply in her chest, her breath catching at her throat. Why was that bed empty? And what had happened? How had Haruka been moved without her waking?

"Girl? … Miss, there's no one…"

"Haruka Tenoh! Where IS she?" Michiru demanded, panic saturating her voice. "She was here… I fell asleep holding her hand. Where IS SHE!" Whatever the reason for this disappearance, she was desperate to know and terrified of what might be the reason, all at once.

"Miss… calm down! I'll check… just calm down!" The nurse's eyes were wide, obviously unsure of how to deal with the clearly upset woman.

The furious siren drew in a deep breath when the nurse insisted that she'd look – if Michiru calmed herself.

Calm.

Okay, for Haruka, she could be calm. Who knew what the nurse would do if she didn't. The last thing the violinist needed was for them to drug her to calm her down, or keep her away from Haruka for fear of what she'd do. So – calm. She reached for the sea, shoving her subconscious into its soothing depths. Serene. There, that should do it.

"… Thank you." The words came with a slight tremor to them, but she did release the nurse, and her composure greatly improved.

"There. That's better. Now, let me go check our computers and see where this Haru…"

"Haruka Tenoh."

"Yes, Haruka Tenoh, is. This way, please."

Michiru kept on the heels of the nurse as she wove her way out of the room and to an overly sanitary work station that seemed to be monitoring everyone's vitals in ICU, a single abandoned coffee cup the only thing that gave the station any semblance of real life that Michiru could see. The nurse tapped a few things into the computer, then blanched.

"I'm sorry…."

"Sorry?" Panic welled up in Michiru, but she swallowed it down. Maybe it wasn't the worst. Maybe it was something she could deal with. And if it wasn't what her mind jumped to immediately, she was going to need to stay calm. They wouldn't let her see Haruka otherwise.

Or not.

"Haruka Tenoh passed away last night. I'm surprised you didn't wake up."

Passed away?

There was a faint ringing in her ears, a dull roar at the base of her spine. Nothing felt real, or right, and her vision blurred for a moment.

Michiru gaped at the nurse in front of her.

Haruka was dead.

The love of her life, her other half, was dead – and she'd _slept_ through it! How could she? And where was Usagi in all of this? She needed to hear from her lips that this was the end. Or to hear that there might be hope. She needed a reason to keep breathing. She needed ...

She needed Haruka.

Needed to hear that husky voice laughing in her ear. Needed to feel the delicate brush of those fingers against her skin, capable of such feats of strength as well as tenderness beyond compare.

And this woman had just informed her that she would never have any of that again.

She sucked in air in a ragged gasp, a hand shooting out to grab at the table beside her. Her mind swum with the news, her already hazy vision blurring further.

Black and white spots speckled about what she could see, and her breath came in shorter, shallower gasps.

She could barely see anything anymore, the face of the nurse fading fast as she felt her knees buckle.

There was concern in the brown eyes that peered at her, but all the Senshi of the Sea knew was the aching hole in her heart where hope had been delivered a mortal wound.

She felt a sharp pain in her head.

After? Silent oblivion.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry for leaving it like this. Chapter 6 is being worked on now. I promise it'll be out in a day or two.


	7. Patetico

Author's Note: So. This is technically the last chapter. There's an epilogue, yes, but this ends the main story. Keep in mind the definition of the style of 'toccata' - this story was meant to reflect it in its own way. I hope I've succeeded. Anyway - last plot twist ahead, and hopefully an ending that will satisfy you as much as it did me. Thank you, grazie, arigato, gracias, danke, dzięki, obrigado, and merci dear readers for giving me this time (yes, I know I forgot a few languages in there, but I think you'd all prefer me to stick to fiction, yes? ;-) ).

~*Chapter Six*~

"Can you hear me?" Michiru thought she _did_ hear a voice, but when she tried to open her eyes, nothing happened. She even tried to move her hands, but it seemed no part of her wanted to obey her commands.

"You just have to trust that she can. Here – press the call button when you want to come back out. I'll come and fetch you," she heard another voice say, so far away. There were footsteps, but they were faint – like the person was walking on a thin sheet of fabric over the floor, instead of the hard tile Michiru knew to be the hospital floor.

She could feel fingers twine through her own despite not being able to move those digits herself - warm and soft with just a few rough spots – calluses. She knew those fingers as well as her own. Was she dead too? Because that hand belonged to Haruka.

Haruka was holding her hand.

"Michi…. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you like that. I didn't want any of this to happen…"

There was a sniffle – was that Haruka? What happened?

The fingers through her own tightened for a moment, and then she felt lips brush across her knuckles. "I love you. So much. They said you were there by my side every day. They could hardly get you away from me. My Michi…" She heard a shuddering breath get sucked in, and she could picture her beloved blonde's face, struggling to keep composure with emotion readable in those expressive green eyes. It was almost as clear as if she'd managed to open her eyes - almost. A few seconds ticked by in silence, and she could feel the warmth of her love's thumb rubbing over the back of her hand. Another motion she knew - the racer often did that at dinner parties when she was at a loss for what to say, and she'd confessed to Michiru once that the motion helped her gather her thoughts. After a few minutes of this, though, it seemed that her blonde had settled on a topic. One the aqua-haired artist was actually glad to hear about.

"You collapsed. After they wheeled me into ICU, before I could wake up. They said you didn't even make it to the room, let alone the chair they'd set out for you – you just crumpled, and you hit your head on the counter of the nurse's station. There was so much blood…" Haruka's hand tightened again for a moment. Had that really happened? It must have. She could hear the worry in that husky voice.

"They were still cleaning it when I woke up. Still, working on _you._ You stubborn, beautiful ..." There was a shaking breath, the hand around her own squeezed again. "I worried… I knew I wouldn't be waking up alone if you could help it – and they were so reluctant to tell me."

There was a warm laugh – the sound of Haruka's laughter was something Michiru would forever treasure. It rolled softly from her throat, low and rumbling. Welcoming. She loved it, and wanted to open her eyes so she could see if that laugh had managed to chase away some of the worry she knew was lining her partner's face. "You're going to have a hell of a headache when you wake up, unless they've got you on pain meds. Maybe they do… I really wasn't listening to the nurse at that point. They'd just told me they were hopeful you'd wake up. I honestly couldn't focus on anything else after that." Fingertips traced something along her forehead – she knew Haruka had likely just touched the stitches that were probably required to put her back together, if that story was true. That, combined with the slight burning feeling that followed that touch confirmed it - it had to have been the cut she'd gotten from her fall.

"But you're still not awake. It's been three days since then. Three days! God, I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss the way you'd yell at me for leaving the towels on the floor in the bathroom. I miss your cooking – you know I can't cook to save my life. So you have to wake up before they release me, love. I'll die if I have to cook for myself." Michiru almost laughed. She could feel the sensation rumbling in her gut, but her muscles wouldn't work. Why wouldn't they work?

"I miss you. I love you. I want you back in my arms where you belong. I want to be in _your_ arms, where _I_ belong. God, Michi. I …"

And then she felt the weight of her lover against her chest, and whatever she was wearing was getting wet, and Haruka was shaking…

No…

Haruka was crying. Haruka _never_ cried.

She struggled, strained against the strange feeling of being trapped, of not being able to so much as twitch a finger. Railed against it. Haruka was crying, and she couldn't _help_ her. She had to help! Each muffled sob was like a dagger in her - not being able to soothe her, to tell her everything would be okay. Because it would be. She was alive, after all. She could hear and feel. She just... needed... to...

"… R… Ruka…."

There! She'd said something. Her lips had moved. Her throat had scratched out a single word. Just one. But it was enough.

"M… Michiru!" The tears stopped, only to start up all over again, mixed with laughter as lips crashed into her own. Kisses – a hundred kisses, it seemed – rained on her lips, her cheeks… she could feel them! And she tried to force her body to respond. For a few moments, there was nothing – she was simply being kissed. But finally… FINALLY… she was kissing Haruka back. And her fingers were moving, little by little, tightening their hold on Haruka's hand.

"Ruka…." She breathed as she was held and kissed soundly again and again.

"I was so scared. I thought you'd be in your world forever. I couldn't follow you there, you know. And it's not the same as that seashell of yours. This… This was that edge-of-night, forever kind of thing, and … you're _awake_." Another kiss burned against her lips and she relished it.

"I'm awake…" Michiru murmured once the sweet exchange ended. Awake. Which meant that, if she hadn't even made it to sitting down by Haruka's side, that entire episode with the nurse… with Haruka's death… it'd all been a dream.

Just a dream.

No, a Kami-cursed NIGHTMARE.

"Oh, Haruka…!" she sniffled, and was rewarded with Haruka lifting out of the wheel chair they'd stuck her in to get her into Michiru's room, and shifting to sit on the bed beside her, pulling her up and into her arms. Strong arms – they must have put her through some physical therapy by this point. It still must have hurt her to do it, but Michiru didn't care if Haruka didn't – she was where she belonged. "I dreamed you died… I dreamed you left me… and I couldn't…"

"Shhhh…. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere," the blonde promised, and Michiru settled, crying quietly in her arms.

A moment later, the nurse came in to see what the commotion was about, and dropped her clipboard on the ground with a startling clatter. "Doctor!" she squeaked, picking the plastic board back up then hurrying out. "She's awake!"

The next few hours were a blur of doctors checking in on her, friends visiting to make sure she was all right, food being eaten (under Haruka's watchful eye), forms being filled out… Haruka insisted on moving into a bed next to Michiru, despite the fact the rooms were supposed to be singles – it was just easier not to argue with the fuss she was making, rules or not! They slept only a couple of feet away from each other, holding hands till sleep loosened their grip on one another.

~*Two Days Later*~

The sun and some incredibly cheerful Inner Senshi and guests whispering just a little too loudly woke them up. The five girls, Mamoru, Hotaru, and Setsuna all stood around their beds – which now were covered in presents and flowers. "We…" Ami began, blushing just a little. "You've both been through so much the last couple of weeks. We just wanted to make your recovery a little happier."

The couple shared an amused, loving glance. Even Haruka, who hated being woken up early, didn't seem to mind this particular rousing in the least. There were sweets, a few plushies, some massage bars (from Setsuna, and she'd explained that with the physical therapy, Haruka was going to be very thankful for them later), and some movies to watch once they were home and recovering. All amid what had to be a small jungle's worth of flowers and plants. Their friends were amazing, wonderful people, Michiru realized once they'd all left, and the two women were once again allowed to recover in peace.

"The doctor told me that they'd likely have released me already, so long as I kept up the physical therapy. But since they're going to release you soon, I'm thinking they're holding off so we can go home together," her lover uttered from a few feet to her left, blonde head sunk contently into the small pillow the hospital provided, fingers curled into one of the new plushies – a little pink elephant she'd taken a shine to.

"That'd be nice. I want to go home," Michiru responded in a quiet voice. "It feels like ages since we've had a chance to really be alone together." Which brought a flush of red across the racer's cheeks, followed by a little nod. Haruka always had been easy to fluster, the swimmer noted. Which tickled Michiru to no end when one considered just how much Haruka liked to flirt with people. She simply couldn't take what she dished out!

"I think the first thing we're doing is taking a shower. Then eating something besides hospital food. Then I intend on sleeping for a few hours, with my favorite person in the world wrapped up next to me," she added with a grin. "Perhaps after that we can work on catching up on an incredible amount of lost time." This time it was Michiru's turn to blush, but she did smile over to her lover.

"Sounds like the perfect date to me. Hopefully, our current keepers will let us enjoy it tomorrow. I think a little time in the hot tub is warranted, too, if the doctors okay it." That earned a happy little groan from her lover.

"Mmm… that sounds like magic. Brilliant idea, love." Michiru giggled at the response, then curled up on her side, an arm wrapped around a little Dalmatian plush while the other extended to silently ask for Haruka's hand. Without a word, fingers were twined together, uniting where they couldn't, themselves.

"Hm… I don't know how much more of this hospital food I can take, either… Michi, think you could make that crab marinara of yours when we get… home… oh."

It'd happened in seconds flat, and Haruka's expression softened to see it. The hand in her own slackened – eyes closed – Michiru Kaioh was sound asleep again. "Sweet dreams of the sea, love."


	8. Appassionato Epilogue

~*Epilogue*~

The day the two were released couldn't come fast enough – they'd both become sick of the hospital, despite all of the visits and well-wishes from friends and the handful of family Michiru still had left. It had been Mamoru who drove the eager women back to their shared home with orders from the others to rest and get better as quickly as were orders that both were happy to follow.

The bullet wounds had surprisingly healed over – not completely closed, but far further along than they'd be on anyone else – faster than they should have even with the semi-dormant powers of Uranus flowing through Haruka, sans a transformation. Michiru suspected Usagi had something to do with it, but whatever the reason for the excessive healing, Michiru was grateful for it and would not question it, or her queen. Her own wound was healing fast, but was still glaringly present on her forehead, the flesh over her forehead a myriad of reds, pinks, and the cream tone of healthy skin as the edges of the injury began to knit together.

True to her plan, Haruka had impatiently tugged Michiru into a warm shower – careful to keep the cascade from splashing too far up her face. It was, without a doubt, the best shower Michiru had ever experienced in her life – she'd swear it. Steaming water streamed around them as they took their time getting clean. With deliberate restraint, touches were innocent enough, lingering only slightly in a promise of what might happen later. For now, an unspoken agreement whispered between them to hold back – touching only for the sake of feeling the other near. Reminding them of just how close they'd come to not having the other around. They could wait - they'd waited for quite some time already, after all.

Thick, dark blue towels were wrapped around their bodies once they'd stepped out, and each took a little extra time to make sure every inch of skin on their partner's body was as dry as possible. Special care was paid by Haruka to drying Michiru's long hair, the violinist practically purring with the delicate motions her lover used. She knew without even needing to look that those green eyes were trained on the sealed gash that ran too close to her hairline for comfort, and a wave of gratitude coursed through her to have someone in her life as attentive as her blonde.

Once her hair was simply 'damp' and no longer threatening to drip water everywhere, a second towel for each was found, nice and dry and plush as they encased their bodies – at least for the time being. They still had plans to work through - eager to indulge in all the hospital had deprived them of - and lack of clothing only pertained to the last intentions of that day. First - cooking. The Senshi of the Sea, once re-toweled and content, had turned to head toward the bathroom door when Haruka tugged her beloved close for a moment, stealing a kiss before they headed downstairs to the kitchen together. A hint to what they were saving for 'last' that night.

As they entered the kitchen, Michiru was reminded of just how lucky they both were – not just for having survived their ordeal, but for the friends they had supporting them. After renewing their sleep-interrupted discussion about their plans following their return home, the violinist had happily agreed to make the crab marinara that her lover mentioned she was craving, but had lamented that it might have to wait until the next day – neither was likely up for grocery shopping just after being released from the hospital, after all. But Usagi, who had been lingering outside their door, had chirped up that supplies wouldn't be a problem – she and the other girls would take care of it all. So a list was made while both infirmed women regarded their newest and dearest friends with an odd sense of awe. They hadn't asked for the friendship given to them – it had simply been thrust upon them by fate and an incredibly stubborn Usagi. And both recalled the times early on in the interactions with the younger inner Senshi where they'd doubted they could be relied upon for anything at all. Except, perhaps, a headache. Yet they'd been endearing back then, and the pair had welcomed the bubbling five with an odd sense of fondness despite the irritation sometimes caused.

Now? Now Michiru wished she could take back every bad thought she'd ever had of them. They were probably the sweetest, most caring individuals she or Haruka could ever have hoped of meeting. True to their word, groceries had been bought the day before by the group, and the aqua-haired woman found everything she needed put away in their proper places. Lump crab meat, tomatoes, oil, pasta… it was all there.

Slender arms snaked around her middle as she stared at a near-full pantry, and a kiss was dropped lightly on her neck. "Koneko… She's something else, isn't she?" Haruka's voice hummed by her ear.

"Mm, we're lucky, aren't we?" the Senshi of Neptune murmured, leaning back into the arms of her lover. "Having such a Queen…"

"We are. She _is_ our luck, I think." The response came with a low, rumbling chuckle. The artist twisted around to feather a few kisses along Haruka's lips, then shooed her over to the kitchen table so she could cook without too much distraction.

Dinner came with stolen glances, shared smiles, toes brushing against bare calves – little teases kept short to rein themselves from chucking all plans to the wind and simply indulging. Those plans had purpose, after all – they weren't simply luxury for luxury's sake. They both desperately needed the relaxation to recover.

The next stop, after discarding dishes in the sink, was the hot tub. The doctors had cleared Haruka, since her wounds had pretty much closed (baffling the medical staff – they were expecting those particular wounds to last her weeks before healing this far!). So long as she didn't stay in the tub for too long, they were certain she'd be fine. And Michiru was only warned not to go under water till the cut on her head had fully healed. A condition she was more than happy to oblige.

Which meant the two women were grateful for the enclosed pool area they'd insisted on putting in their backyard only days after they'd purchased the property, just a few years ago. Privacy was welcome as they let their towels fall in small fabric lumps on the tile floor and headed for the warm water. Simultaneous groans left them as tired muscles were introduced to the penetrating heat. The tension that had plagued Haruka's form since she was shot began to fade, and the stress that Michiru had felt herself under evaporated like puddles in the hot summer sun.

A few minutes later, Haruka felt herself oozing into a blond puddle as Michiru's fingers began working at the tight muscles at the back of her neck, inching her way down her back. Skilled at more than art and music, those hands knew just where to press and nudge to get the other woman's muscles to give in and release. Haruka was grateful for that knowledge, and once she was feeling better, she prompted her lover to turn so she could return the favor in kind.

Careful pressure was used, always gentle – Michiru's back was stubborn but sensitive. The racer had learned early that pressing hard only got her a back full of more knots. Instead, it was easier to use light pressure to find the knots, keeping steady fingers to work the knots out rather than force them into submission. It took longer, but in the end she couldn't complain – it was rare to see Michiru so at peace – at least without her feet in sand or a shell to her ear. She dropped a few soft kisses along the back of her lover's shoulder and was pleased to see the aqua-haired woman shiver, then lean back into Haruka's form. Arms circled around the other woman's middle, tugging her into her lap.

"I never want to get that close to losing you again," the blond racer rasped, teeth nipping lightly at her lover's earlobe.

"Same for you," came the teasing, warm response.

Haruka's hand strayed lower along Michiru's abdomen, creeping closer to a goal they both knew too well. The aqua-haired woman squirmed slightly in anticipation, tipping her head a fraction to the side as lips assaulted her skin. Haruka's touch was akin to her favorite technique on the piano – fingers fluttering across her skin as they would the white and black keys, pausing the fraction of a second long enough to coax the right note out, but never lingering, never dwelling.

Toccata.

Michiru had played similarly with her violin, but nothing came close to Haruka's skill at it on the piano. Or on her body.

The blond's teeth grazed across her lover's pale throat for a moment. "I could face a thousand deaths with you at my side, Michi. But not a single one alone. Not without you."

Whatever response the other woman might have said, it was lost to pleasured moans and gasps in the warm summer night as Haruka got an early start making up for lost time. By the time the half-full moon began its descent in the sky, the pair had managed to make it up to their bed tumbled into the bedding with hardly a thought to anything but each other. Exhausted from their fun, they'd curled up and tangled with each other and their light blue sheets, asleep again in each other's arms.

It was where they both belonged.

* * *

Author here: Love it? Hate it? Did I make a mistake somewhere (well, grammar, at least. Or if I contradicted myself… or any other technical issue). Let me know. And if you're into RP, don't hesitate to PM me. Especially if you RP Haruka. ;-) Always looking for new RPers.


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